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Wine, Health and Seven Years of Bad Sex: Toasting Traditions in France

When you stop and think about any tradition, you realise how bizarre the whole thing is. (Bring a tree inside the house and cover it with plastic while singing about a farm in Bethlehem? Fold cardboard in half, stick a pink heart on it and wax lyrical about a religious saint you couldn’t pick out of a line-up if you’re life depended on it?)

Toasting Traditions in France - Man raises a glass, must maintain eye contact

French Toasts - by Emilio Labrador

Raising a toast is no different (as evidenced by the fact that there’s not a slice of bread to be seen.)

However odd the notion of holding a glass of wine or beer in the air and saying “Cheers!”, I’d never given the matter any thought until I lived in France and realised how complicated the procedure could be.

In France, The Rules Are Complicated

In France, saying cheers is not enough (well, it’s santé for a start, which means health rather than happiness.) No, you must maintain eye contact, you must clink glasses individually with each person in your group and you must not cross anyone else’s arm as you do it. Time consuming and tedious.

So, why does everyone bother? Turns out there’s a pretty severe penalty for messing this one up.

“Seven years of bad sex,” said every Frenchman and woman I met.

Gulp.

So, there you have it. Don’t drink in France unless you’re willing to risk your future.

The Penalty, Severe

This was written as part of the Lonely Planet Blogsherpa Carnival on Toasting Customs Around the World. Read about more of them on Jennifer LoPrete’s Orange Polka Dot blog.

PS – I’ve also learned that the same rule applies in Spain. I wonder – is this superstition rampant across Europe? Across the world?! I wonder whether Britain is the only place that throws eye contact to the wind…

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23 Responses to Wine, Health and Seven Years of Bad Sex: Toasting Traditions in France

  1. Jennifer January 18, 2011 at 1:42 am #

    Here in Catalunya, I have heard that eye contact is important as well. But wasn’t aware about the seven years bad sex belief. I will have to ask around. My husband is from Argentina and he gets really bothered if people don’t make eye contact during a toast. Perhaps, I know now why!

    Thank you for participating in the blog carnival on global toasting customs.

    Cheers!

  2. IsabellesTravel January 18, 2011 at 1:22 pm #

    Same here in Belgium! Didn`t know about the arms crossing, but the eye contact is important :)

  3. Célia January 18, 2011 at 3:30 pm #

    Also spread across some parts of Portugal. We toast with eyes wide open, just in case… And can’t have crossed legs either (bad luck). I didn’t know it was a tradition from France

    • Abi June 29, 2011 at 11:39 am #

      Can’t have crossed legs?! Uh-oh – if only I’d known sooner!

  4. David @ Quillcards January 18, 2011 at 4:38 pm #

    Ouch!
    I read once that in some Sub-Saharan cultures it is preferred not to look at the other person while relating a story.

    Funny old world, isn’t it?

    • Abi June 29, 2011 at 11:40 am #

      Yep. Certainly if you’re on the London Underground you should avoid eye contact at all times…

  5. Melvin January 18, 2011 at 5:56 pm #

    Do we have this superstition in Germany? Yes, we have!

    When partying a lot, accidentally you find out, that the result is a lie! Luckily! :-)

    But I must say that I like toasts before drinking. It’s so social… :-)

    • Abi June 29, 2011 at 11:40 am #

      I would expect nothing less from you ;)

  6. jason January 18, 2011 at 6:34 pm #

    Abi,

    Very interesting. I wonder…if you have sex wrong, do you have 7 years of bad toasting?

    Didn’t know about the arm crossing thing. Thanks for sharing this.

    Jason

    • Abi June 29, 2011 at 11:44 am #

      No comment ;)

  7. Joya January 20, 2011 at 6:59 am #

    So many tricks to follow! My family is Middle Eastern and we also make sure that everyone’s glass clinks with another during a toast.

    • Abi June 29, 2011 at 11:47 am #

      Am going to start compiling a list of toasting traditions around the world…

  8. Sabrina January 21, 2011 at 4:30 pm #

    The same is true in Germany :) I didn’t know the French had the same “rules”. Crossing is bad luck, and not looking into each other’s eyes is seven years of bad sex. Oh, and toasting with water is obviously something you don’t do… considered bad manners.

    • Abi June 29, 2011 at 11:43 am #

      Can’t toast with water?! So much to learn!

  9. Yvonne July 16, 2011 at 3:37 am #

    jep, we also do have these rules in Germany. It always takes sooooo long till I can actually drink! That’s why I HATE it. And then again. And again. pfff :)

  10. Henry Williams August 10, 2011 at 6:38 pm #

    not looking into each other eyes is seven years of bad sex? thats a rough penalty

    • Abi August 12, 2011 at 2:30 pm #

      Yep, pretty severe. The French seem to take both wine and sex pretty seriously…

  11. SD January 4, 2012 at 2:32 am #

    German Toasting Tradition:anyone able to shed some light on a tradition to which I’d been introduced in Munich many years ago; it was explained to me by a German friend that by convention, when toasting with beer mas (1 liter glasses) that following clinking glasses, that the beer mas should be set DOWN on the table, direct eye contact made with your company, and only THEN the glass raised and a drink taken. The critical portion, setting down the glass, was explained as being related to a German prince or king (I don’t recall which), who pronounced some decree of this sort because he was unable to hold the large glasses for sufficiently long because of his diminutive size. So as not to look feeble, he made the decree and the tradition stuck, with the consequence of 7 years of bad sex for violators. This story recently came up again, however I’ve been unable to find any information on the web explaining the details or verifying this tradition. Can anyone provide me with some information, particularly the prince or king’s name, should he ever have even existed.
    great thanks,
    Cheers!!

  12. Erin April 24, 2012 at 9:47 pm #

    I visited France back in 2010 for a month, and I did not know this. During one of the toasts, I did not make eye contact. Everyone laughed, and I kind of blushed, unaware as to what was so funny. Then they asked me what happens to those who don’t make eye contact during a champagne toast, and…well, they told me. I will now warn everyone I know of this tradition. Not because I actually believe that one will have seven years of bad sex by not making eye contact during a toast, but more to save them from an embarrassing moment. ;)

  13. Jill January 2, 2013 at 4:40 am #

    Oh…is that what happened? :)

  14. Naomi January 26, 2013 at 10:17 am #

    I’m french and, I didn’t know that we must not cross anyone else’s arm as we do it (i do it every time…). I never do any eye contact and nobody told me that I’ll have seven years of bad sex. (and it’s not the case :P)
    Some of our tradition are so … strange ^^’

  15. Just'in Paris February 7, 2013 at 2:21 pm #

    Sorry for the late comment ;) I’ve just discovered your blog… This post is so funny, I love your conclusion! I am french and I can confirm everything you said here ;) When you get used to them, you don’t realise anymore how strange some traditions can be. Thank you for this new vision of my “routine” !

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. 13 Superstitions That Explain Why Your Love Life Sucks | TokNok Multi Social Blogging Solutions - October 9, 2013

    […] That, and not clinking each glass individually, or accidentally crossing your arm with someone else’s equates to seven years of bad sex, bro. CAREFUL. […]

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